Truth or dare smutt
by TooBadassForAName
Summary: HidaKona. Tobi decides to play Truth or dare, and... stuff happens.    Not that nasty, though. Rated... pg.. 13? o.o


Okay, dont judge this, I know it sucks! I made this like.. a year ago! XD

Its in Hidans pov., btw if you hadn't noticed.

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><p>Started out a normal day, I guess you could say normal is you see a fucking plant man tearing a man limb from limb and watching him eat it normal. Or Rinnigans and Sharingans staring contest… or even a fucking idiot running around saying he loves his "sempai"... I guess that would be normal, but his sempai is a man… Damn, still normal. Ah well.<p>

The day was boring as fucking heaven would be. Everyone was somehow on base because there was nothing to fucking do. Kakuzu was fucking counting his shitty sinful money.

"OH! OH! Tobi knows an idea! Let's play truth or dare!" Tobi yelled screaming at mine and Deidaras face.

"Tobi, how about you go away, un."Jashin forbid that mother fucking 'un' that came out of that aggravating ugly trap of his.

Tobi kept yelling though. "Awe, please? Tobi will be a good boy, I promise, sempai!"

"UGH FINE! Just get out of my face!"

Everyone was gathered by tobi. Even Kakuzu! He must have bribed his ass.

Tobi started: "Hm… SEMPAI!" You could hear the grumbles escaping that fucking terrorist.

"Truth or dare?"

"Ugh. Dare, un."

"Tobi dares you too…. Lick my toe!"

Barbie's eyes widened as he stood up and cussed out the damn idiot. I tried to hold back my laughter but Kisame was already there, so I just had to join in! He got up, throwing his chair he was sitting on and stormed out of the room with a red face. "But Sempai! It was a dare! You have to do it!" Tobi said as he ran after him. Now they were gone, but the game continued. Itachi restarted the questions by asking:

"Kisame, truth or dare?"

"Heh, Truth man!"

"Is it true that you cannot sleep without your samesade (sp?)"

Kisame blushed… but it was purple since his freakishly blue fish skin was fucking blue! But he answered quietly: "Yes… It's true…"

"That's fucking pathetic!" I mumbled loudly enough for everyone to hear, and received a slap to the back of the head by darling Kakuzu. Hate that fucker.

"Well, since Hidan is being rude, Truth or dare, Hidan, you douche!" Kisame added.

"Ugh, damn… Dare."

"I dare you to give up your scythe for an entire week!"

"WHAT! My… scythe? Really? I can't live without her, my beautiful scythe!"

"Hand it over…" Kisame said with an open palm

Me sighing, saying my last goodbyes to her, I passed her over with a tight grip.

"Pathetic." Kisame laughed and I glared.

It was my turn. I was really bad at this shit, but Tobi came back with what I could sense a large smile on his face. I could hear Deidara hacking and coughing, spitting as well. I couldn't help to chuckle! He took my turn; thank Jashin in all his glory. But not exactly the best thing to happen. You see, I kinda', sort of, somewhat, have a little crush on blue haired. She was the only actual girl in the group, but she was beautiful! Konan was her name. She was my soft spot, who knew some fucking cold hearted killer could even think about liking such a peaceful, quiet… Angel?

"Leader-sama! Truth or dare!" He said quite loudly, loudly enough to make my ears ring letting me lose my train of thought.

"… I choose to dare." He said all smart like and shit.

"Tobi dares Leader-Sama too… Kiss Lady Leader-sama!" He yelled even louder. I sighed, grinding my teeth, groaning. I put my head down onto the table we were all sitting at. I couldn't see it, but Konan blushed and let out a small smile. You could easily tell that she loved him. Oi, they were like, child hood friends and shit, seriously! I mean, I stand no fucking chance! But the worst part it, you could easily hear that disgusting muck they made with that kiss. Stinging my mind like a damn stake in the heart! Ohh, steak sounds good right now… Wait-SHUT UP YOU IDIOT!

Questions flew by, some retarded, some funny, some even depressing. Deidara decided to come back after he scrubbed all of his tongues with soapy alcohol. So It was his turn.

"Hm, un." That fucking UN. JASHIN, PEIN LET ME KILL THIS BI-. "Konan." My thoughts stopped again, thinking I knew what he was going to say. Probably going to make her fuck Pein, or some stupid bull crap like that.

"Dare." She said really quiet.

"I dare ya' to kiss Hidan passionately! And make it sexy!" Again with another kiss? Really original-wait. Hidan… me? I raised a brow, mouth agape, quickly facing my head toward her, looking confused. She was blushing madly and I looked away. My cheeks lightly flushed, kind of smiling.

I felt a weak grip of a hand on my shoulder, but it became stronger. My eyes widened in more confusion as the chair slammed to the floor and threw me off on my back, my head lightly lifted to avoid it getting fucking hit. I heard the chairs being pushed back as the members leaned over the table and some turning around to see what the hell just happened. Then I saw Konan! She was the one who did it! She tore off her cloak reveling dress-thing from underneath and the climbed over me, straddling me, tearing the rest of my cloak that was already half undone, me of course not having a shirt. I was too shocked to do anything as she fucking crashed her lips to mine, my response being muffled by her tender lips. Her tongue slithered in my mouth as she forced me to kiss her with passion, our tongues dancing with rhythm. I tried to stop, Jashin doesn't even know why, but I quickly relaxed, my widened eyes becoming glazed with want and desire, squinting down until they officially closed. I heard her moan, oh Jashin that was fucking sexy! One of my hands went behind her head, tangling in her hair, careful not to pull on it too hard, and another slowly sliding down her lower back, eventually caressing her ass. I dreamt of this day, for so long. Oh Deidara, I suddenly don't wish to kill you anymore!

The kiss stopped after a while. At least, if felt like a while. We were panting hard. I caught ourselves staring into each other's eyes, but I looked away. I looked at the table, Konan still straddling my pelvis. I saw Kakuzu, with the face of a man who is wondering "The fucking hell just happened!" and Deidara, mouth wide open with the biggest grin imaginable, eyes wide as hell's population, Kisame laughing his ass off, Tobi covering his eyehole, but fingers split to make a peep hole, and Pein. Pein looked like he just saw gay porn. You know that face, eyebrows sloping in an up angle, mouth scowling, nose wrinkled, etc. I looked back at Konan, forgetting her place and remembering it, quickly got off in embarrassment and reapplying her cloak. She sat back in her seat next to Peins like nothing just god damn happened. I was helped up by Sasori, oddly enough. My cloak was torn so I just sat back down without it. I smiled and would absolutely not look in her direction, trying to think about everything that happened.

I think my scythe has been replaced! D:


End file.
